Thinks they are a “neurotic, selfish, childish, insensitive and unimaginative, vicious bunch of jerks” who would like nothing better than to lose us World War II and hand the White House right over to Hitler.
“KNOW YOUR HOMO SEXUAL. YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of the heart-shaped Tea-Shades, but his rectum will be tight from inner tension, and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can’t find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Homo Sexual fears nothing…. - THE CHIEF.”
Sister blog to the Big Picture, “wherein jokes and statements are made using typography.” Otherwise known as the Boston Globe’s meme generator.
We’ve been thinking it for two long years. All of us. Gnawing our cheeks at night, clutching at sweaty sheets, our faces hollow and gray, our once-bright eyes dimmed by the pain of too many questions. Sometimes we cry out, en masse, to a faceless god and a cold, indifferent universe that holds its secrets close. What… rasps the death rattle of our collective sanity. What is the lubrication level of Samantha Jones’s 52-year-old vagina? Has the change of life dulled its sparkle? Do its aged and withered depths finally chafe from the endless pounding, pounding, pounding—cruel phallic penance demanded by the emotionally barren sexual compulsive from which it hangs? If I do not receive an update on the deep, gray caverns of Jones, I shall surely die!
“
| — | From Lindy West’s incredible review of Sex in the City 2, a film which is inspiring some truly glorious critical eviscerations, the plot of which might be best described by this further West quote: “Abu Dhabi is crawling with Muslim women—and not one of them is dressed like a super-liberated diamond-encrusted fucking clown!” |
